Category: Reviews

Flexo! Shoot Flexo! | The One (2001) Review

December 5, 2025

Partway on the timeline between Demolition Man and Everything Everywhere All at Once, behold The One, a blend of science fiction and martial arts to suitably harebrained ends. Far from an expert on all things Jet Li, this first-time viewing was spurred on by its relatively recent coverage on The Greatest Movie Ever! Podcast, in which shameful secrets were revealed about past fondness for musical acts like Drowning Pool and Papa Roach (believe me, I understand). Indeed, this movie is from the year 2001 the way that people from Boston are from Boston, and as I’m currently reading/listening to two examples of popular literature from the mid-1980s, I’ve had occasion to reflect on how often not timeless movies and television are. Those books, Blood Meridian and Stephen King’s It, are both set in the past. By contrast, it’s the rare genre film from the 1980s that doesn’t feel Totally ‘80s! and thus subject to modern nostalgia-driven filmmaking. Will we have a cultural resurgence one day of movies like The One and XXX and The Scorpion King? No. … More Flexo! Shoot Flexo! | The One (2001) Review

Palace-Minded Man | Uprising (2024) Review

September 12, 2025

The 2024 historical epic Uprising is about two things: the Japanese killing Koreans, and Koreans killing Koreans. This is literally the experience in an early sequence of two cross-cut battles, when Toyotomi Hideyoshi’s samurai advance beyond the Han River in the first invasion of the Imjin War, and the hungry Joseon masses turn on the fleeing King Seonjo (who Wikipedia notes shouldn’t be confused with Sejong the Great). Fans of the recent Shogun will remember Hideyoshi as the taiko whose death incites the feudal struggle for power, briefly embodied as “Nakamura Hidetoshi” by my man Yukijirô Hotaru, of Zeiram (and not actually featured in Uprising). Apparently, this guy was trying to take Korea all the way till his consequential death in 1598. And fans of Netflix’s Kingdom will remember the Imjin War, the historical backdrop to that tragically short-lived zombie masterpiece. Well, rejoice for now, as Uprising shares the same brutal world of beheadings, cannibals, and funny hats – stopping short at zombies, of course, but not before outrageous political corruption. It’s a timely tale of ancient revolution against a cruel aristocracy. … More Palace-Minded Man | Uprising (2024) Review

The Dream | Baby Assassins: Nice Days (2024) Review

August 28, 2025

For two movies, Baby Assassins has been a source of unusual joys. They’re charming even in their deficiencies, with scenes lingering on nothingness for so long that it becomes funny and the lack of plot making for unpredictable sketch comedy. With this third outing, the winning non-formula is finally given structure, which might sound unduly disciplinarian for our anarchic duo, but this was the only ingredient missing. I think that sometimes, filmmakers, film critics, and film students can romanticize the subversion of convention, when so much of the artistry and effect of movies is in the exercise of character arcs and stories which resonate with subtextual meaning. And yet, even with a Baby Assassins set to provide usual joys instead, I couldn’t have anticipated such virtual perfection as Nice Days. I was already a fan, guys. You didn’t have to do all this! A proper coming of age, it’s an optimization of every formerly experimental element; a bloodsoaked spectacle with a cathartic, heartfelt finish. … More The Dream | Baby Assassins: Nice Days (2024) Review

No Frills, Just Gills | Orang Ikan (2024) Review

July 27, 2025

I’d been following Orang Ikan for a while now, from an early Bloody Disgusting preview through to its retitling for U.S. distribution as “Monster Island.” Bleh. I’ve spent a nontrivial amount of time – washing dishes, staring into oblivion – pondering over which title to go with for the inevitable review on this site. It’s important! Reason one: this is a monster movie, and therefore a throwback. After the golden age of the 1980s, the spirit carried on in the Sci-Fi Channel Originals of my youth. These made-for-TV movies were sort of a keep-away game: “How much of this monster movie can be about anything other than the monster?” Special effects are expensive, and the movies were not. For me, they were exercises in frustration. Some off-screen kills in the beginning, a whole lot of bullshit in the middle, and the monster appears at the very end. And yet, I can’t deny how acutely interesting something called “Dinocroc” was to my 11-year-old brain. The second reason is that “Monster Island” is unspecific and vaguely patronizing, not that I can properly pronounce “Orang Ikan.” Now, this is a movie set during World War II, so the legendary fishman might not be the only monster lurking in the jungle. … More No Frills, Just Gills | Orang Ikan (2024) Review

Chisato Gaiden | Ghost Killer (2024) Review

July 22, 2025

Action maestro Kensuke Sonomura finally nails it as director on his third attempt – with a little help from his friends. After a baffling debut, Hydra, and its unremarkable follow-up Bad City, I’d have to be a real sucker to stick around for whatever came next. Well, “Akari Takaishi” is always a compelling argument, the ex-idol actress with a fairly standard career – TV dramas, manga adaptations, animation voiceovers – but for the occasional Baby Assassins title, which intervene on her filmography like a running joke. In fact, it’s Ghost Killer that comfortably proves her participation in Baby Assassins wasn’t a one-off (or a four-off, to be fair). Equally crucial is a script by Yugo Sakamoto, the creative braintrust behind, well, Baby Assassins. As a screenwriter, he may be rough and tumble, but his work here is surprisingly disciplined. Ghost Killer may be the most technically sound accomplishment between either filmmaker. … More Chisato Gaiden | Ghost Killer (2024) Review

Thrice | KPop Demon Hunters (2025) Review

July 6, 2025

I have a friend who’s a bit of a troll. She wanted to watch KPop Demon Hunters and wanted more, perhaps, for me to watch it. Her logic was sound: “You like K-pop!” to which I noted I also like movies, and that doesn’t mean I’m rushing out to watch F1 this weekend. Nor for that matter, Elio, live-action Lilo & Stitch, or live-action How to Train Your Dragon – really, guys? Three at the same time? Anyway, my logic here is sounder: those movies are for babies. Of course, I’ve enjoyed movies for babies, especially when I was a baby, as well as movies empty of thought or weight. One doesn’t need to approach a work of art or entertainment in the exact same way each time, and we understand this implicitly, setting different expectations based on genre, content rating, and so on. Still, a lot of the criticisms I have for KPop Demon Hunters can be brushed aside with “It’s a kids’ movie,” leaving me in the impossible situation of having watched a movie I wasn’t meant to watch. … More Thrice | KPop Demon Hunters (2025) Review

Swan Lake of Blood | Ballerina (2025) Review

June 7, 2025

From the World of John Wick: Ballerina is a strong contender for “movie with the worst title of the year,” and incidentally, the subtitle (supertitle?) is both strength and weakness. My question, from the moment the film was announced in 2019, was “Why does this have to be a spin-off?” There’s nothing about a ballerina-turned-assassin that screams John Wick any more than it does La Femme Nikita or 2023’s own Ballerina, though the lead character in that one wasn’t the titular ballerina. In fact, 2025’s Ballerina starts on the most stock-standard note: her father is killed, and she seeks revenge. That’s every action movie! It’s also why the original John Wick was such a breath of fresh air: action movies are bad. … More Swan Lake of Blood | Ballerina (2025) Review

The Beach Episode | Sonatine (1993) Review

June 3, 2025

It’s rare for a film to give the sense that we, the audience, are seeing the world through the director’s eyes. Typically, great direction serves the story, but in this case, the director may be the story, doubling as the lead actor. As his character Murakawa, Takeshi Kitano observes. Along with countless static shots of people standing by, sitting still, waiting, we look at a lot of Murakawa looking. More than that, Sonatine, like Kitano’s earlier film Boiling Point, moves to its own rhythm. Proceeding without a lot of dialogue, it establishes a unique language with what we see and when we see it. Often, what we see is a shocking instance of violence. For my money, Sonatine has the most effective jump scare in any non-horror movie. I practically leapt out of my seat. And yet, it’s also irreverent and tender, melancholy and affecting. It’s phenomenal. … More The Beach Episode | Sonatine (1993) Review

Automatic Arsenal | Battle Girl (1991) Review

May 22, 2025

It’s true that the movie fully entitled Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay has a very low budget. As much as I’d prefer to be an enlightened critic who doesn’t discriminate on such bases, in this case I’m interested in how the miniscule production influences the viewing experience. For reference, we can plot this one somewhere between, say, Nemesis and Screamers? The former is so raggedy that it’s sometimes incoherent, not only in the big picture but in the micro, where the camera and editing have to be so judicious, so careful not to show the edges of the set, so to speak. Battle Girl has a little bit of that, though its setting – the zombie post-apocalypse – is easier to render than other sci-fi worlds, where “scatter some trash in the corner” is actually workable. … More Automatic Arsenal | Battle Girl (1991) Review

Starship of Fools | Mickey 17 (2025) Review

March 8, 2025

It’s been a long winter. If I’m getting into my car these days, it’s to go to the grocery store to continue stocking up on canned goods for the coming economic recession or government collapse or whatever it’s gonna be. Tonight, as I waited for the engine to warm, I asked myself: “Do I really want to see this movie?” It was kind of an obligation, for two reasons. One, I’ve been writing a sci-fi story about clones and needed to know if I should stop, and two, Parasite was so good that I owe Director Bong. I’d also managed to avoid all trailers and plot details – even the cast list, beyond Pattinson – so why spoil that now, though it’s probably why I was feeling so neutral. What was there to excite me but the promise of another Bong Joon-ho movie? He’s been a little hit-or-miss, though I’m not sure if it’s just because I vibe so much with his friend and colleague Park Chan-wook. That man can ruin my night any day of the week, and by comparison, Bong’s sillier, more welcoming sensibilities are less appealing. As a sci-fi movie with a funny premise, Mickey 17 seemed to promise the same thrills of The Host or Okja – undoubtedly with that satirical bite. … More Starship of Fools | Mickey 17 (2025) Review