Category: Reviews

Flower Power Tower | Mechanical Violator Hakaider (1995) Review

January 15, 2024

Over the years, I’ve attempted to watch Mechanical Violator Hakaider three or four times, and only on the third or fourth attempt did I make it to the credits – not intact. I’d fallen asleep every time, so it was just a matter of picking up where I’d left off or deciding it had been too long and starting over. And I’d think, “How is this happening?” One of the strands running through this (strand-type) blog is the film’s director Keita Amemiya, whose career serves the hyper-specific, me-shaped niche of “non-kaiju tokusatsu and also R-rated violence,” with the bonus of an appreciation for action heroines (usually played by one actress, Yuko Moriyama). Hakaider could be the result of the slightest deviation from that formula, but I think its sleep-inducing powers speak to fundamental problems, and ironically may speak to Amemiya’s craft. … More Flower Power Tower | Mechanical Violator Hakaider (1995) Review

What-If Question | Past Lives (2023) Review

December 10, 2023

A critic shouldn’t be saying things like this, but I do want to establish or reestablish that a negative movie review isn’t necessarily me saying a movie is “bad.” Past Lives is very well acted, and it’s beautiful – notably shot on film – but my experience with it was minimal, and the subsequent evaluation remains confused. I don’t know what the writer/director was going for, though the later discovery that it’s semi-autobiographical surely explains a lot. The film opens on the climactic scene, in a New York bar at 4:00 a.m., as an Asian woman sits between an Asian guy and a white guy, with disembodied voices trying to guess at the nature of their relationship. We then rewind to 24 years earlier, when children Na-young and Hae-sung are friends in Korea, with the former moving to Toronto. Fast-forward 12 years, and they reconnect over social media but remain in different time zones. … More What-If Question | Past Lives (2023) Review

The Iron Horse has Lasers | Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (1995) Review

November 8, 2023

After a surprising bump in quality with Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla, we’re back in business to close out the Heisei era with this, one of several series finales – like Futurama. The Showa era ended with Terror of Mechagodzilla, a return to the darker tone of the original movie, and the disjointed Millennium era had the explosive Final Wars, a special project for the 50th anniversary. Well, is Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, too, a special project? Did the filmmakers take a step back from what they’d been doing and say, “Let’s go out with a bang”? The film’s title might help us out here, bearing the typical “vs.” instead of something like The Final Chapter or maybe The End of Godzilla. No, it’s just another day, another monster. Consequently, this is a pretty low-key send-off, though at the very least, unlike Terror and Final Wars, it is a send-off. … More The Iron Horse has Lasers | Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (1995) Review

Atomic Superwoman | Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla (1994) Review

November 7, 2023

The previous installment, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, was one movie too many. I’d actually forgotten it existed before embarking on this review journey more than a year ago. After watching Godzilla and Mothra, I was dreading it, while conversely looking forward to SpaceGodzilla, and so the two came to represent a binary in my mind. On one hand, you have a competent but generic Heisei Godzilla movie, one which introduces absolutely nothing new, and on the other hand, you have the movie where the tip of Godzilla’s tail is coming off. What better visual metaphor for a series that’s run its course? Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla is exactly what I want from a long-running film franchise: “We’ve run out of ideas, so let’s make crap up.” It wouldn’t be competent but unhinged, and it wouldn’t be generic but, indeed, unhinged. … More Atomic Superwoman | Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla (1994) Review

More Dinosaurs | Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993) Review

November 6, 2023

By this point in the Godzilla chronicles, I feel a bit lost. Our feature tonight, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, is a perfect entry in the Heisei series. It checks all the boxes of everything that worked in the past, so what worries me is that when the boxes are checked, we’re still left with a mediocre film. And “mediocre” might be a funny word to use. I mean, these movies were produced practically nonstop, and for a young audience, whose chief and maybe only stipulation is that Godzilla appears. That’s a big check. But reviewing this movie positively – which I’d fully anticipated, having a brief idea of its general reputation – wouldn’t be very useful. Not that any of the lessons we might pull from Mechagodzilla II can be applied to future films, as they’ve already been made, but goddamn it – or Godzilla it – they could have. … More More Dinosaurs | Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993) Review

Beautiful Violence | Raise the Red Lantern (1991) Review

September 22, 2023

All of the great films I’ve seen this year – John Wick: Chapter 4, Dragon Inn, Ran – left me thrilled or excited or breathless but intact. It’s been a long time that I’ve been this shaken by a movie. The credits rolled and the Blu-ray disc whirred inside the PS4 and I clicked around for a bit, first on the trailer by accident and then on an interview with film historian Tony Raynes. I had no idea what he was saying. I just sat there, responded to a couple of texts, and realized that as much as I’d been planning on writing a review for Raise the Red Lantern – this site would be incomplete without it! – doing so would mean lingering in that head space, and returning to that world. … More Beautiful Violence | Raise the Red Lantern (1991) Review

Deduction, Not Reduction | Lady Detective Shadow (2018) Review

September 16, 2023

I’ll be honest, I watched this movie in three installments, against the ticking clock of a 48-hour rental on Amazon Prime Video. For the first few minutes of the second session, I was convinced the playback hadn’t remembered where I left off. “Didn’t I already see this part where they force their way into the inn, witness a fight, then talk with the police?” I sure had, but it happens again, with variations enough for a kind of “can you spot the difference?” puzzle. To be honest once more, I had no earthly idea what was going on in this movie, and I doubt an undisrupted viewing experience would’ve done the trick. I may be among that special few who find kung fu movie plots confusing, but I have a feeling, in this case, I can share the blame: myself, the movie, and fate (as authored by the logistics of international film distribution). … More Deduction, Not Reduction | Lady Detective Shadow (2018) Review

Kicks to the Face Before Breakfast | Lady Whirlwind (1972) Review

July 19, 2023

Since we’re all in the “video game adaptation” mood lately, I might suggest a challenge: a faithful film version of an RPG, say, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. The hero has a task, and then they spend the entire movie on side quests. This was my thinking during Lady Whirlwind, one of the early star vehicles for Angela Mao. Having costarred with him in Enter the Dragon, she’s sometimes considered “the female Bruce Lee,” but I was skeptical, even watching her early scenes here. The character she’s playing is cool and confident, but her facial expressions tell a different story in the midst of fighting. Does “female Bruce Lee” simply mean “female martial arts star”? And does a woman score the title just by being good, suggesting that we don’t expect greatness? It takes me a moment to realize that she’s taking on a dozen guys at a time, and most critically, that like a lot of Bruce Lee characters, she’s kind of a dick. She is certainly not the hero, and in fact, wants the hero dead. Thank God she spends the entire movie on side quests. … More Kicks to the Face Before Breakfast | Lady Whirlwind (1972) Review

I’m a Cow(girl) | DOA: Dead or Alive (2006) Review

July 6, 2023

DOA: Dead or Alive gets off to a rough start. We find Princess Kasumi awkwardly sitting on a throne and a dork named Hayabusa awkwardly standing nearby and expositing. Then Kasumi gets up and leaves, trading awkward dialogue with Hayabusa as he follows. She wants to leave the palace to find her dear brother Hayate, but “Princess Kasumi,” he warns, “the guards will kill you!” So she goes outside and it’s a veritable Curse of the Golden Flower army. And yet, nothing happens. A pink-haired Ayane shows up to further exposit awkwardly, and then Kasumi turns off the gravity and leaps over the gate, over the Great Wall of China, and over a cliff. No fight scene, but a lot of terrible acting, terrible special effects, and terrible everything. As far as video game adaptations go, it’s pretty faithful. … More I’m a Cow(girl) | DOA: Dead or Alive (2006) Review

Insects of Sea and Space | Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth (1992) Review

June 5, 2023

This one is so close. It just needed a little more time in the oven. All the pieces are here, and they mostly fit together, but there’s something missing. Maybe an oomph? Maybe it’s the pieces themselves, each of them chipped in some unique way. Take the characters, for example. I know, this isn’t the place to start with a Godzilla movie, but that would make Godzilla movies an exception. Our protagonist this time, arguably, is Takuya Fujito, an archaeology professor who steals artifacts from tombs. After he’s thrown in jail, he’s visited by government men who want him and the feisty Masako to investigate a meteor on Infant Island. Apparently, this island is in Indonesian territory, making it off-limits to Japan, like an echo of the original Godzilla’s production. Okay, so Takuya is a man of action, unlike the sci-fi writers and journalists of Heisei movies past. He has more immediate personality, but one nevertheless expressed by whining through the bars of his jail cell. Not super appealing. … More Insects of Sea and Space | Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth (1992) Review