Gun Haver | A Janitor (2021) Review

February 17, 2025

The onset of Ben Affleck sequel The Accountant 2 is occasion to reflect: what is this thing we do? Whether it’s Jason Statham is The Beekeeper or Tom Hiddleston is The Night Manager or Charles Bronson (and Jason Statham) is The Mechanic, these titles are, like, almost a metaphor? It’s more like an unspoken understanding, between the dads who make these movies and the dads who watch them, that this is gonna be about a reserved, quiet guy who’s secretly a badass. Sheds the accountant facade (glasses?) and springs into action, possibly to give a couple of taunting bad guys what-for. “Hey, old man!” they taunt. We can probably add A Janitor to this pantheon, but with asterisks. At one point, the girl character says to/of our titular janitor, “You’re not an ordinary man,” which is true to the form, but then it’s like, I don’t know why he’s a janitor? … More Gun Haver | A Janitor (2021) Review

Remember, No Guns | Bad City (2022) Review

February 2, 2025

The year is 2022, and we’ve had decades of action movie innovation. The bare minimum has to be: “What hasn’t been done yet?” which must be how you get “megaphone as melee weapon.” In Bad City, a white-haired badass squares off against a group of thugs disguised as a baseball team, and after shouting at them through the megaphone at point-blank range, beats them with it to the peculiar rhythms of director Kensuke Sonomura’s light-speed fight choreography. After clobbering several bad guys, he tries to use the megaphone again as intended and finds it’s broken. Already, this is a marked improvement on Sonomura’s previous film, the bewildering Hydra. Inexplicably presented, that movie would’ve benefited from a simpler script guided by cliché, and so it was, initially, a relief that Bad City acquits itself with a police investigation, corrupt politicians, and evidence stored on a USB stick. … More Remember, No Guns | Bad City (2022) Review

Not Another ‘Baby Assassins’ Review

January 26, 2025

No, really, though. Recently, I re-subscribed to Hi-Yah! on Amazon to watch Corey Yuen’s She Shoots Straight, off Donovan’s sterling recommendation. Great movie. Classic girl-forward Yuen but before his CGI fixation with So Close and DOA. I was browsing around at what else I could watch to justify the subscription for the month and noticed not only Baby Assassins but Baby Assassins 2. Oh, right! Yes, I’ve been meaning to get into those movies ever since it was only “that movie.” And now, as I discover, there are three? And a TV series? Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that the third film, Baby Assassins: Nice Days, is not yet streaming on Hi-Yah!, nor is the series Baby Assassins: Everyday. They only premiered last year. Had I been in on the ground floor, I would’ve at least been able to watch Everyday on Dailymotion, but now I can’t find anything – and am devastated. … More Not Another ‘Baby Assassins’ Review

Homemade Gyoza Party | Baby Assassins: 2 Babies (2023) Review

January 23, 2025

I’m so excited that Baby Assassins ballooned into a media franchise, encompassing a trilogy of films, a TV series, a making-of documentary, and a making-of mockumentary, most of which came together in the last two years. Mahiro actress Saori Izawa has been working for a long time, as her action reels on YouTube plainly demonstrate – up to and including slicing a delivery pizza in half with a katana – mostly behind the scenes, even doubling Rina Sawayama in John Wick: Chapter 4. Our dear new franchise, then, is basically her proverbial (if not literal) John Wick moment, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised to see her featured more prominently in another American movie soon. It’s weird that American action cinema is currently in a renaissance, but for Japan, movies like Baby Assassins are the exception – kind of. … More Homemade Gyoza Party | Baby Assassins: 2 Babies (2023) Review

A Killing at the Maid Café | Baby Assassins (2021) Review

January 22, 2025

In action movies, there’s always that moment in the final battle when the bloody-faced hero looks up at their opponent, and the line is something like, “I’m not giving up” or “Is that all you got?” In Baby Assassins, it’s more like, “She didn’t tell me about this strong guy.” That’s it. Just another snippet of an internal monologue that’s sometimes spoken aloud. At the start of the movie, this character Mahiro is introduced as a socially awkward teen doing something painfully relatable: bombing a job interview. Only, she cuts it short by shooting the hiring manager in the head (ideally, that’s less relatable). What follows is a frenetic fight scene choreographed by the modern master Kensuke Sonomura, where assailants lifting Mahiro into the air doesn’t stop her from repeatedly stabbing their shoulders and arms. Spoiler alert: this is most of the movie’s action until the final battle. … More A Killing at the Maid Café | Baby Assassins (2021) Review

K-Drama Report: The Judge from Hell, Part III – God Mode

January 19, 2025

In the first Report, I said – and I quote – “Shin-hye should be god mode in Grand Theft Auto,” in expressing frustration over her character’s limitations. In the second Report, my wish came true, and I was excited and terrified. Now, in our final Report on The Judge from Hell, I think it’s time to deconstruct this term, “god mode.” While I watched the first five episodes in a matter of days, the next nine took me practically the rest of the month. The first lull came with episode six, right before Kang Bit-na was about to lay her righteous beating on a condemned soul. This actually turned out to be “the elevator scene” I was crowing about. Of course I wanted to see more of Park Shin-hye beating people up; that’s the most amazing thing I can think of. So why couldn’t I hit play (or rather, open Disney+ and hope it didn’t crash or ask me to sign in)? It broke my heart to realize, but I had to admit: I was bored. … More K-Drama Report: The Judge from Hell, Part III – God Mode

K-Drama Report: The Judge from Hell, Part II – Park Shin-hye Beats the Stuffing Out of Everyone

January 3, 2025

Okay, maybe not everyone, but I’m still satisfied. Previously on the K-Drama Report, I complained that for a show featuring Park Shin-hye as we’ve never seen her, empowered with the infinite power of hell, her character was woefully underwhelming. Add in unpleasant scenes of domestic violence, and I was ready to call it quits. I’ve been had before, and maybe in my old age, I’m too frustrated by failure. Well, it turns out, there’s a reason why the first episode doesn’t end with the cathartic release of Shin-hye’s character Kang Bit-na (or Justitia the demon) beating up the abuser guy for a couple of minutes. No, no, The Judge from Hell had something much greater in mind: twenty minutes. Yes, friend, you read that right. A sustained sequence where she’s just blowing this guy up. … More K-Drama Report: The Judge from Hell, Part II – Park Shin-hye Beats the Stuffing Out of Everyone

K-Drama Report: The Judge from Hell (2024)

January 2, 2025

The IMDb logline for The Judge from Hell reads as follows: “Kang Bit Na, an elite judge with a beautiful appearance, is a demon whose mission is to punish those who have wronged others and send them to Hell. However, the righteous Detective Han Da On is determined to change her ways.” You know what? That sounds really good. I’ve been dying for a show where Park Shin-hye plays against type and, ironically, into her public persona as a bigger-than-life celebrity who everyone loves. At the very least, her biggest roles have been characters easily described as “nice” or “shy” or even “do-gooder”? I feel like she’s been slapped in the face so many times, though she did give it to Kim Ji-won – the Queen of Tears herself – in The Heirs. But no more. Now she’s playing a demon! … More K-Drama Report: The Judge from Hell (2024)

Top Ten Movies of 2024 (#23 – 1)

December 29, 2024

The year draws to a close, and everyone’s in the ranking mood. What an offense to art, but it is irresistible. My top ten this year is more like a top 23, only because I actually watched a ton of contemporary releases. At some point, the list goes from “bad” to “good,” so I’ll let you determine when, on this, a ranking of every new movie I saw this year. … More Top Ten Movies of 2024 (#23 – 1)