With Eyes East

Seulgibear, The Last of Us 2, Mickey 17

It’s Seulgi Day, which is typically cause for celebration around these parts. Unfortunately, her lead single “Baby, Not Baby” arrives at the conjunction of two emerging threads: one, my own gradual realization that Red Velvet members don’t really make Red Velvet music when pursuing solo work (made clear by Irene, who does), and two, the promotional build-up to Seulgi’s solo album being kind of a bummer. The very album title, Accidentally On Purpose, makes me a little nauseous.

One of the inevitable bumps in the road to release day was the charge that her new aesthetic was ripping off British pop star Charli xcx, and given the general South Korean attitude toward intellectual property rights, this is probably true. I mean — of course it isn’t. Nobody owns art direction (ask any artist who’s ever worked for a corporation), though certainly the Red Velvet team learned from their “Umpah Umpah” kerfuffle to at least credit the source of inspiration by the time of “Cosmic.” Still, it’s telling that there’s a comparison at all. I don’t feel very strongly one way or the other about Charli xcx, and if anything, Seulgi’s interpretation of “brat” runs counter to something I’ve always appreciated about Red Velvet.

This is half the reason for this post, because I’d rather not put negative energy out there about Seulgi (the other half is to at least acknowledge that today, Seulgi did a thing): I’m at least interested in what the divergence between “good” and “bad” Red Velvet says about the brand. Admittedly, “Baby, Not Baby” isn’t bad by any means, it’s just not something I’m especially passionate about? And while I can see myself growing to like the song itself, it’s the video that bothered me. The last time I remember Seulgi standing on tables and smashing food, it was for the Japanese single “Cookie Jar,” which is colorful and inexplicable and vaguely threatening.

There’s a self-deprecation expressed in “Baby, Not Baby,” with Seulgi’s attempts to get hugs from strangers rebuffed. I just can’t help but shake this creeping feeling that she’s still meant to be “cool.” And anyone who’s ever been to middle school knows that a surefire way not to be cool is to try to be cool. Here, Seulgi’s a nuisance, getting in the way, wrecking things. I’m so used to being flabbergasted by Red Velvet that the twinkle of recognition in her antics was almost sad. Something I really like about Red Velvet (and certainly Seulgi’s contribution to it) is the overwhelming — the opulence of “Feel My Rhythm,” the booming “Red Flavor,” and the murdery vibes of “Russian Roulette,” “Peekaboo,” “Cosmic” and so on.

This shot of an angry Joy in “Cookie Jar” is so incredible. The song is adorably upbeat, and then out of nowhere she’s just giving you this murder stare

It all feels so effortless and self-assured. The flailing desperation of a mascara-streaked Seulgi in “Baby, Not Baby” seems to reach toward commentary on the attention economy, but you’d think as an idol in one of the biggest K-pop agencies on the planet, she could make that venom more specific, even introspective. And not to conflate a human being with the characters she plays, but Seulgi IRL is shy and artsy, well-regarded for being kind (in an industry that should theoretically breed kindness out of its stars). She really is donning Hot Topic Harley Quinn cosplay for this one, and I don’t buy it — I wasn’t even in the aisle.

The Most Cursed Role

But let me stop there before I start demanding what a woman ought to do, what she ought to be. If anything, I’m glad that Accidentally On Purpose shares DNA with her previous solo outing, 28 Reasons. I want Seulgi to define herself as an artist more than I need to necessarily like the art. It’s okay. And anyway, straight guys like me scored a massive victory recently, with the casting of Kaitlyn Dever as Abby in season two of HBO’s The Last of Us. Man, where does this sad tale even begin?

For those outside the video games-o-sphere, there’s been a war raging between deeply strange men and their nonexistent enemies, a battle over the pornographic efficacy/fate of interactive entertainment. There was a recent peak with the game Stellar Blade… and now I’m trying to do this from memory because I don’t want to browse for articles — so, the main character in Stellar Blade is modeled off of a conventionally attractive Korean woman, but she was nevertheless yassified to the apparent satisfaction of the aforementioned strange men. They hoisted this character, Eve, as their new symbol of resistance against what they see as an “uglification” of female characters in video games. Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn is often used as an example. Of “ugly” characters, I should say, as it’s never clear, but for this handy metric: the uglies are pretty much anyone who isn’t, like, Bayonetta, or Eve. It’s worth noting (barely) that the controversy over Stellar Blade did begin with tone-deaf criticism of the character design, which insinuated that the designer (a woman) was a basement-dwelling male loser. I have a feeling we’d still be in the trenches over this regardless.

Abby in The Last of Us Part II is another great example of ugly female characters, because look at her. She’s got huge muscles. That ain’t right. It’s worth noting (barely) that part of the Internet rage over this character is plot-related, that she kills a key character at the start of the game. The original actress, Laura Bailey, received death threats for this (something hardly novel for her I’m sure, but probably unexpected nonetheless), and I think we’re all bracing ourselves for outrage round two once the TV adaptation premieres next month. Even more unfortunately, the controversy is already underway. I’m sure you’ve noticed some discrepancy between these images of Dever and Abby. My fancasting for Abby was Katy O’Brian, and I wasn’t the only one, though the physical confrontations she’d have with the already-cast Bella Ramsey would be… difficult.

She’s even wearing Abby grey!

The Tale of the Two Steve Jobs Movies (Pirates was a TV movie, friend) ought to demonstrate that there are more important considerations than visual fidelity to the source material, unless you do prefer Ashton Kutcher’s performance to Fassbender’s. The difference in our case is that it’s foolish to claim that Abby’s visual appearance isn’t part of what makes her special. Could you imagine a live-action Lady Dimitrescu who wasn’t 9’6″? Unlike Laura Bailey, who was encouraged to bulk up to play Abby, apparently, Kaitlyn Dever was not. Cue the flood of articles with headlines like “Abby Isn’t Abby Without Her Muscles In The Last Of Us” and (actually, there were fewer headlines than I thought, but comments yes) which in turn prompted responses from the production team: “Neil Druckmann Explains Why The Last Of Us Show Isn’t Making Abby Buff.”

As a funny aside, The Last of Us TV show is usually pretty good about visual fidelity, going so far as to cast the actors who originated the roles in the games, like Merle Dandridge and Jeffrey Wright. I mean, what coups regardless, with Alyx Vance and that longtime HBO standby.

So, fellas, it’s been said, and arguably it needed to be said, as women who look like Abby are underrepresented on TV (and everywhere else), but now we have to stop.

The reason I wanted to mention this is because I remember, in discussing Abby and The Last of Us Part II back in 2020, I was only half-sure there were indeed women who looked like Abby. I cited a contestant on the first season of CBS competition show Tough As Nails. But after the advent of Physical: 100, I see them everywhere. Thanks, algorithm. If I could highlight just one, here’s a CrossFitter and ssireum wrestler, whose name I do not know, though she goes by the handle “Mink Fit.” She’s so dreamy. Here’s her YouTube channel and Instagram page.

What the hell were they thinking?

As a brief follow-up on Mickey 17, it’s looking like that’s gonna be a box office bomb of Wachowski-esque proportions. When I was sat there in the theater, I’d have guessed it was maybe an $80 million movie with a smart director who knows how to stretch every cent. No. Mickey 17 cost a reported $118 million, which is nearing the global returns on Parasite. What the fuck? A sci-fi comedy? I mean, nobody knows how well his previous big-budget movies did, Snowpiercer and Okja, in the first case because of Weinstein fuckery and in the second because it was a Netflix release. I mean, what do you think? What happens when an Oscar-winning director delivers a (critically well-received) turd? If you haven’t seen it yet, you still have the chance to be one of the few, like with Furiosa last year. At least George Miller got to be in Death Stranding 2: On the Beach.